DEAR ABBY: I’ve a 16-month-old who has just lately realized to stroll. My mother was watching him in the future every week whereas I labored part-time, however she in the end determined it was an excessive amount of stress on her again and stated she may not elevate him.
Recently, she has been telling me I must “prepare” him to do sure issues to ensure that her to look at him with out lifting him (e.g., climb into his personal automobile seat). Abby, he’s too younger to persistently do something like that.
It’s not attainable for her to place him in his automobile seat, elevate him to place him in his crib, excessive chair, and so forth.
She’s being very pushy about me discovering other ways to do issues that in the end will make extra work for me. I believe it could be safer and simpler to pay an able-bodied caregiver.
Speaking to her about this has develop into nerve-racking as a result of she calls me “loopy” for pondering this can be a security concern. If we’re on the park and he does one thing unsafe, I choose him up and take away him as a result of he’s not but a dependable listener.
How do I talk about this along with her in a form however agency means, and is my concern legitimate? — LIFTING HIM UP IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LIFTING: You aren’t loopy! In fact your considerations are legitimate.
Your son is years away from having the ability to do what your mom is suggesting. Finish these discussions.
She must be informed kindly, however firmly, that you understand she loves her grandson, however he wants extra hands-on care than she is ready to give him, which is why you are hiring somebody to do it.
DEAR ABBY: I’m one in every of your male readers. My finest pal, “Will,” and his household have been shut buddies of mine for 9 years. I regard them as prolonged household, and we do virtually all the pieces collectively.
Two years in the past, they purchased a home and transformed the storage right into a room for Will’s brother-in-law.
A yr in the past, the brother-in-law met a girl I’ll name “Anika,” who stays with them a number of days every week. She has made her place within the household, doing all the pieces with Will’s spouse and their child.
Will and his spouse have now began together with her on journeys and issues they’d have usually invited me to do with them — however with out me.
I just lately found that Anika was disgusted to listen to that I used to be occurring a latest journey with them, however she gave in to Will to let me go.
I really feel like I’m being pushed out of the household I do know and love by this new girlfriend. How do I deal with this? — PUSHED ASIDE IN THE EAST
DEAR PUSHED: Inform Will that over the 9 years you might have been shut buddies with him and his household, you might have grown to treat them as your prolonged household.
Then inform him it has come to your consideration that Anika didn’t need you included on that final outing and ask if he is aware of why.
Had you offended her in a roundabout way? She could also be jealous of the connection you might have had for thus lengthy with Will and his brother-in-law and be unwilling to share her boyfriend — or his household.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
